Nigel, the Autistic Companion

My work is to act as a Companion to those with ASD traits. It matters nothing if ASD is diagnosed or not, or whether someone has had these traits all their life, or just some of their life. Acquired or innate, no matter which.

Diagnosis, self or formal, can be useful. They give a starting point.

But my work essentially relies on developing a personal relationship and learning about the individual first hand.

From there we discover needs and goals that we can work towards together. It is always a team effort.

This method gives an authentic response , means the client is in control, and gets to the destination very quickly.

Sometimes it involves a lot of contact, other times not so much, it varies over time depending on the clients state of being. Most often an indirect approach is necessary. This allows for the natural structured approach to getting to know someone, in a way initiating them into a trusted position. From this position sharing can begin and support sought. This can take a long time to reach, the tests can be quite profound and extreme. The observation minutiae in detail, which may be out of proportion and perhaps overly detailed will take long periods…but it must be gone through.

Sometimes it can be just a bit of advice that is needed, or an outsiders perspective. Other times it is on a much deeper level over a longer term. At whatever level there will be some testing, some period of observation – there will be a relationship developed in understanding and knowledge of both parties.

This approach is something which I never have had. I never had anyone take notice of me, listen to me, try to understand my problems and overcome them with me. So…it has taken me a very long time to figure life out. I had no idea I was autistic till this year, 2023, at the age of 55. I did not understand at all why I was the way I was. From socializing issues – all manner of issues including thoughts, emotions, understanding others (or more precisely not), concepts of friendships that others couldn’t understand, trust issues…the whole thing goes on and on. Most of my life I have been confused and lost and in a panic trying to figure out where I belonged, because I didn’t belong anywhere that I could see.

I fell into working with ASD completely by accident, out of necessity really. It has come to be a type of person I can enjoy the company of and seem to be able to support. In turn this working relationship has helped me identify my own Autism and been a great support to me.

The guiding concept I hold is that Autism itself can be positive, it does not have to be a disability. The negatives are powerful, but they do not have to be all powerful. Autism gives strengths, and these can lead in life. An environment can be created to make any Autistic person flourish. It will never be perfect, there may be overlapping issues, but life can be fruitful.

So…my blog. It will be a description of my personal journey, not quite an autobiography. Some posts will be of my past and some will be of the present. In a way it will be a method for me to work through my own diagnosis, only just received. In another way it will be a method for me to work through thoughts about helping others.