Definitions

So, here are core definitions of states that affect me on a cyclical basis. These are definitions. Definitions are very important to me. These are on topics of:

High Stress periods

Burnout

Full Moon

Below are just sections explaining the above. Stories to follow will go into autobiographical stories, but whatever those stories are these definitions will be the reference point.

What is a high stress period?

The common stress triggers are:

Anything new. People, routines, public things – going to a new place.
Having demands made of me.
Traveling. Any traveling.
Sounds. Particularly if regular and complex. Obviously if loud. Beats in particular. I prefer silence.
Audio and visual information in particular easily overwhelms.
Change in food for a length of time.
Regular talking to people, even if I know them.
Situations where I have no choice but to mask. I prefer saying I have to act, be a false character.
Not having long periods of time for quiet. To think. Be alone.
My own systems – they become burdensome.

So, that is a sketch. Most of the time these things are occurring, so what we need are regulators. Daily, weekly, monthly proactive approaches that help me regulate the internal stress, or chaos, these situations cause.

Natural remedies – 5-htp, St John’s Wort, Ashwagandha, Maca.
Regular hypnotism on CD, when I can cope with it. It fits into the category of sounds and talking, so easily overwhelms me, but it does work well.
Aromatherapy, but again, smells overwhelm me. Works very well when I can tolerate it.
Trying to take time away – but that is not easy. Films, music, etc just add or distract, do not help. Time alone is time to overthink. Walking helps a lot.
Then there are attempts to break patterns, or my own systems. So this is staying a night in a hotel. Not too long to need another complex set of routines, but enough to break a cycle at home. It does involve a much more simplified routine though. If it is in a full moon period (about 12 days for me) it is a waste of time, I will just get more stressed by the change

In the end I cannot really avoid burnout. I do not have enough control of my life. But I can minimalist the frequency, and perhaps speed recovery.

Burnout Issues

Unfortunately this happens too many times. I have identified two triggers – others, and myself.

Individuals and groups of individuals that trigger this, due to:

Must have things their way. No attempt to bridge the difference from my needs to theirs;
Others that are unstable, as in no regularity or order. Can be materially or intellectually, or emotionally.
As above with organisations – for me that is work situations.

My own failings/faults:

Me over focusing – overworking, overthinking, over everything. My pattern is to go full on then crash, and be full off. Especial weakness is helping others, not even recognising myself.
Being extremely stubborn and blind. Choosing things to have in my life that are absolutely wrong, but I overthink and ignore my needs so much I lead myself to breakdown.
Totally lacking in self understanding, so choose wrong things for me. Or do not understand my own actions and responses.
As I create patterns, I recreate breakdown patterns. Without learning, as I cannot see to learn.

Burnout for me is experienced at different levels – major burnout, and localised burnout.

A major burnout last several months at least. This kind entails:

Extreme anxiety. So that is bodily pain. And pain in my brain, not headache.
Massive withdrawal from human contact and others systems.
Seeking out mental escapism. Things that have no to very low purpose.
Allowing nothing at all new. No planning.
Lots of sleep, if possible.
Needing physical activity, and this alone – walking long distances. This is the only thing that gives mental relief and physical relief.
Initially, and at other times, all in the localised list.

More localised burnouts…so these happen more frequently in a year. These are where my triggers are happening short term, but I manage to release it and stop allowing them in my life. So these symptoms and responses are:

Bad temper. I am not angry or annoyed. But it is like a stabbing pain in the centre of my brain when asked to deal with issues, think, make decisions – anything that involves choice and decisions. The bad temper is just a response to being overwhelmed and in pain. It is best I follow and take the back seat in these times.
If I do make decisions I won’t have awareness of them after. I will make very poor decisions and probably make choices that are out of character. Best not to ask me to make decisions. I won’t remember them anyway.
Shaking. Constantly without stop. This can last several weeks.
Crying. Especially if forced to process and think. This will last a long time till I cease using my mind. I can function, and do things, I am not sad or unhappy. It is just water coming out my eyes.
Needing to repeatedly see my film, ‘The Goodbye Girl’ (1977). It calms me.
But I might not be able to take any sensory information, or thoughts. So then it is a dark room till I can.
When I can my sleep will be gone, or very minimal. So light projector on ceiling, aromatherapy, perhaps hypnotism tracks, sit in a chair (not bed), take natural remedies.

Natural remedies I take daily to help me cope. If I didn’t take these I could not function in the workplace.

5-htp. Helps alot, especially beig verbal.
St John’s Wort. My anxiety and overthinking.
Ashwagandha. Anxiety. Calms me.
Maca. Calms me a lot.
At night: Aspirin, eases muscle tension. Valerian and Lavender tablets, to calm.

I take these daily. In burnout times I might increase them. I will increase dosages in danger times, as in high stress periods.

Full Moon

The full moon has always affected me. The period is approximately 6 days before and after the day of the full moon.

The affect is to overstimulate me. So all systems go into overdrive.

Sleep will reduce, be intermittent, I will be more sleeping for couple of hours at a time with lots of time awake and up. My sleep is normally disjointed, but at the full moon it is terrible.

Thinking process is very different. It can be very clear and complex, so good work can be done. But it can also go negative easily. It is a tightrope between reality and delusion. Thoughts much easier trigger anxiety and falsely perceived problems.

Generally much more energy is at hand. Whether this comes out as positive or negative seems to be based on underlying controls – so being aware I will be prone to hyperactive emotions, senses, thinking. To realize the 13 day period and delay engaging with triggers. Because my ability to rationally deal with triggers is very diminished. I will perceived things very skewed, very extreme.